This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Randomize
