Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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