it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Randomize
