Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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