I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I need moral support for this bender
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
