I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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