I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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