Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
