it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
