You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
