My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize