He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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