I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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