can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
