just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
