She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
