I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
