Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
