I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I am spending my child support on dildos
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
