So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
