This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize