i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
