Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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