I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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