make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
