Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
