He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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