woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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