you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
