did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
