so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
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We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
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I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
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