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You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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