I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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