i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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