just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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