i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
