even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
