Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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