Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
