the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
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Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
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FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
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