I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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