Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
