I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
