just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
where does the pee come out of this thing
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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