I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
They took my balls.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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