so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
