i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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