How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
