someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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