I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
