doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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