Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
