I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
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My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
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Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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