8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
