The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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