Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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